Monthly Archives: February 2012


Not Done Vacuuming

Not Done Vacuuming

A few years ago I wrote about a symptom of ADD which I experience often. I posted my experience on the website, and it was answered by the guide, Keath Low.  I was jazzed about that!  See the URL   The symptom is poor motivation and my post said the following:

“I will often sit at work at my desk, looking over my to-do list, and just staring at it for long periods of time. I can’t decide what to do first and when I do decide, I can’t get started unless it’s a task I enjoy. I just sit and stare at the wall a lot, thinking all sorts of distracting thoughts and feeling like I’m trying to push through a brick wall.”

Since I’m new at this, I hope I haven’t violated some law by reposting my comment here.  If so, oops!  I’m sorry. Please let me know and I’ll learn the rules eventually.  Better to ask forgiveness than permission.

I’m having this symptom today, in spades.  It’s Wednesday today.  I was supposed to do my vacuuming on Monday, but with many excuses I didn’t.  As I write this, I have had some success today working on this task, but haven’t yet finished.  One of the ways experts like Keath Low suggest dealing with motivational difficulties is to break a task down into doable chunks and complete one at a time.  So I broke down vacuuming into rooms.  I did the hallway and my bedroom this morning.  Then I rewarded myself by checking my email, which I love to do, and looking at yahoo messenger to see who was online.  I just did the dining room and kitchen a few minutes ago.  Now I’m writing, and I’ll let you know with a ……… when I finish up with the living room.

When I wrote the above post, I was working at a job I loathed.  That was one of the big reasons it was so hard to motivate myself to get the work done.  As you might guess, I got fired from that job and haven’t worked since.  Thus my present predicament.  I’ve done quite a few things in the last five days to begin the digging out process, and I’ll write about that in my next post.  But the second, and perhaps most important, strategy for motivating oneself that I want to mention here is doing what you love as a profession.  I love to write.  But so far that hasn’t paid very well.   In fact, it hasn’t paid anything.  So to be realistic it’s not always possible to do what you love in order to provide for oneself and maybe a family.  But moving in the direction of doing what you love is important to stay motivated  to do the ‘chores’.  Often while working at the dreaded job, I would complete a boring task then reward myself by writing a letter to a friend, or writing in my journal, or writing a business letter, or researching online how to do a job-related task better.  All fun stuff.  I may have done this a bit too much however.  I should have used a third strategy for dealing with ADD; set a timer!  Reward yourself for only 10 minutes, then get back to work.  You might not get fired using this tactic.

Enough for now.  Talk to you later.

Oh, by the way:…………..



This Ranger Has Been Rambling For Too Long

Hi.  I’m new here.  But it’s about time.  I lost my job three years ago next month, and have lived on unemployment or disability since.  I’ve wasted three years thinking about what I should do next.  Wouldn’t most ‘normal’ people think a little faster than that?  Wouldn’t most ‘normal’, non-ADD people, consider the fact that unemployment doesn’t last forever and maybe he or she should spend some quality time either learning a new career or seeking employment in the same one?  Wouldn’t most people of above average intelligence, like me, be so motivated by almost homelessness, few mental treatment options at this income level, and K-Mart clothing that they gave the job and career search much more timely effort?  Well, state disability for my broken ankle ended 2.5 years ago, and unemployment ended today.  Can anyone say “procrastination!”?

I have Attention Deficit Disorder.  Also, I have a Bipolar Spectrum disorder, probably Cyclothymia, for which I take Lamictal.  I also have a generalized Anxiety Disorder for which I take Imipramine.  In addition, I have a ginormous confidence problem exacerbated by the re-employment statistics for my age, gender, and weight.  I’m 51, overweight (how much is still my business), changing careers, and female.

So here’s the deal.  Tonight I sit at my computer, which a lovely friend gave me because I couldn’t buy my own, starting my journey towards an actual earned income and more life options.  Like an ADD coach.  Like organic vegetables, organic milk, and grass fed beef.  Like paying tithe to my church and giving to the fund to help other struggling people.  Like a very occasional trip to Nordstroms and a weekend in Santa Barbara at the Best Western.  And I’m going to blog my every step.  Probably.  With ADD in women all things are uncertain until all the tears are dry and the consequences in motion and the brain stimulation is at it’s zenith.  And I want someone to know why it happened, what challenges I face, how I am overcoming them, and why they, if I can, do it too.